10 Universal Writing Rules Every Writer Should Follow, According to The Onion‘s Founding Editor
Whether you‘re crafting jokes, novels, essays, or web copy, great writing has the power to inform, persuade, and delight readers. But what separates mediocre writing from exceptional writing that readers can‘t resist?
As the founding editor of satirical news site The Onion, Scott Dikkers knows a thing or two about hooking readers. Over his tenure from 1988 to 2013, he helped grow The Onion from a small local publication into a global media brand with millions of fans.
In his recent book How to Write Funny, Dikkers shares his top tips for writing irresistible content. And while his focus is on humor writing, these core principles can help writers in any genre take their work to the next level.
"If you want to create a great piece of writing, you have to be in total control of the reader‘s experience," says Dikkers. "The writer‘s job is to manipulate the reader‘s emotions, to push their buttons."
Ready to learn from the master? Here are Dikkers‘ ten universal rules every writer should follow to engage readers and leave a lasting impact.
1. Concept Is King
In today‘s attention economy, your content is competing with countless other articles, videos, and posts. To stand out, you need a strong concept that immediately grabs the reader.
"Your concept—and I would equate that with your headline or title—is the flag you‘re raising, it‘s the shingle on your door," says Dikkers. "And if it‘s not a good concept or the right concept, then you‘re sunk before you‘ve even written a word."
Spend time brainstorming different approaches to your topic. What unique angle can you take? What promise can you make to the reader? Prioritize the ideas that tap into your target audience‘s key desires or pain points.
2. Favor Quantity Over Quality
When The Onion had a team of six or seven staff writers, Dikkers required each of them to pitch 20 headlines per week. Why? Because he found that "the quality of our ideas increased with the number of ideas people brought in."
Dikkers estimates that even for high-performing comedy writers, "95% of everything we create is garbage." But by examining hundreds of headline options each week, they could identify the funniest dozen or so.
As a writer, don‘t put pressure on yourself to come up with the perfect idea on your first try. Challenge yourself to generate as many possibilities as you can before whittling them down. Remember: your worst ideas are the stepping stones to your best ones.
3. Omit Needless Words
In his classic guide The Elements of Style, author William Strunk Jr. offers this sage advice to writers: "Omit needless words." Dikkers agrees that concision is key, noting that "any time I edit a joke, I look for ways to reduce … Cutting even a single syllable can make the joke punchier, better."
Ruthlessly trim any excess fat weighing your writing down. With each sentence, ask yourself: Is every word essential? Am I saying this as clearly and efficiently as possible? Don‘t be afraid to "kill your darlings"—those precious turns of phrase that don‘t serve the piece as a whole.
As Dikkers puts it: "If you don‘t have a message, why are you writing in the first place?"
4. Don‘t Be Afraid to Ruffle Feathers
Great satire doesn‘t tiptoe around sensitive subjects. It punches up, poking holes in the status quo and shining a light on social ills.
Dikkers believes that for a piece of writing to stand the test of time, it needs to push buttons. He contrasts "Horatian" satire, which is lighthearted and inoffensive, with "Juvenalian" satire, which isn‘t afraid to anger or offend. While the former might yield cheap laughs, the latter is what people will still be talking about years later.
Of course, this principle goes beyond just humor. No matter what you‘re writing, consider: Are you playing it safe, or are you taking a bold stance? Pieces that challenge the reader‘s assumptions are ultimately more memorable than those that parrot conventional wisdom.
5. Be Open to Feedback
In the early stages of the writing process, it‘s easy to become so attached to an idea that you‘re unwilling to hear critiques or consider alternatives.
Dikkers calls this being "in love with your darlings," and warns that it can blind writers to legitimate feedback. When you receive constructive notes, try not to take it as a personal attack. Remember, your job isn‘t to protect your ego—it‘s to produce the best possible experience for your readers.
Regularly soliciting feedback from beta readers, editors, or fellow writers can help you get out of your own head. You may discover a flaw in your argument or a better way to structure a story. Treat revision as an opportunity, not an obstacle.
6. Use Specific Details
Novelist and short story writer Anton Chekhov once advised, "Don‘t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." In other words: Use details to show the reader what you mean, rather than simply telling them.
Dikkers agrees that "detail almost always makes writing better … Whether you‘re writing humor or anything else." Specific sensory descriptions help paint a vivid picture in the reader‘s mind.
For example, Dikkers notes how J.D. Salinger uses detail to great effect in The Catcher in the Rye:
"He came over and stood right in my light. ‘Hey,‘ I said. ‘I‘ve read this sentence about twenty times since you came in.‘"
With just a few lines of dialogue, Salinger conveys volumes about the characters and their moods. Challenge yourself to replace abstract statements with concrete images. What can you describe that will make the scene come alive?
7. Proofread Your Work
In the grand scheme of your writing, proofreading may seem like a trivial concern. But Dikkers argues it can make or break your chances of reaching an audience.
He gives the example of comedy writers applying for jobs. "You might‘ve done all the hard work of learning how to write comedy and you‘re perfect for the job, but if you don‘t take the time to proofread it for grammar and spelling and syntax, there are plenty of other qualified, hilarious people who will. And they‘ll get hired."
Before you hit publish or send off a draft, take the time to read your work with a fine-toothed comb. Use spelling and grammar check tools to catch any typos or mistakes. Ask a friend or colleague for a second set of eyes. Small errors can undermine your credibility and professionalism, so it pays to be meticulous.
8. Show, Don‘t Tell
If simply telling the reader something was effective, writing would be easy! But as Dikkers notes, "You‘re going to be so much more effective at engaging an audience if you show rather than tell."
What does this look like in practice? "It‘s easy to say, ‘Bob is mean,‘" Dikkers explains. "That‘s telling. You‘re telling the reader what the character‘s traits are. But if you show the character‘s traits, it‘s so much more engaging for the reader. So, instead, you‘d say, ‘Bob just stabbed a baby through the heart!‘"
While that‘s an extreme example, the principle holds true across all genres. Use dialogue, sensory details, and anecdotes to illustrate your ideas, rather than simply stating them outright. Trust your readers to connect the dots themselves.
9. Keep It Simple
Have you ever given up on an article or book because the writing was just too dense or convoluted? Dikkers cautions against overcomplicating your work.
"Your writing needs to be understandable to just about every level of reader," he advises. "It should be an easy on-ramp to the superhighway of your writing."
This doesn‘t mean you need to "dumb down" your ideas. But consider how you can make them as accessible as possible. Could you break a complex topic down with an analogy or real-world example? Pare back any jargon or obscure references? Opt for simple words over flowery language?
Your goal as a writer isn‘t to show off your expansive vocabulary—it‘s to transfer information or an experience to the reader. Always aim for clarity first.
10. Control the Reader‘s Experience
Ultimately, Dikkers argues, writing is about being "in total control" of how the reader thinks and feels from moment to moment. Just like a puppeteer pulls the strings to direct their marionette, the writer must carefully craft and sequence their words, sentences, and paragraphs.
To do this, you first need a crystal-clear sense of purpose. What is the central point or feeling you want to evoke with this piece? What journey do you want to take the reader on from beginning to end?
With that in mind, consider the order of information and way you reveal it to the reader to maximize engagement and impact. How will you set the scene and introduce the characters or ideas? What details will you withhold to build suspense or curiosity? What‘s the best example or detail to drive the key point home?
"Readers want to know they‘re in the hands of a master who is going to manipulate them," says Dikkers. "The way Spielberg does in his movies. He takes you on a ride, through the highs and lows. Audiences love that. Readers love that. They want to be taken for that ride."
Putting the Rules Into Practice
Mastering the art and craft of writing is a lifelong journey. But by keeping these ten principles in mind, you‘ll be well on your way to producing content that resonates with readers.
The next time you sit down to write, run through Dikkers‘ rules as a checklist:
- Do I have a clear, compelling concept?
- Have I given myself permission to brainstorm lots of possibilities?
- Is every word and sentence essential?
- Am I playing it safe, or taking a bold stance?
- Am I open to constructive feedback?
- Could I paint a more vivid picture with specific details?
- Have I carefully proofread my work?
- Am I showing or telling?
- Is my writing accessible to the average reader?
- Do I have a clear vision for the reader‘s experience from start to finish?
Of course, simply knowing the rules is very different from putting them into practice consistently. Challenge yourself to focus on one or two areas with each new piece of writing. Over time, these principles will become second nature.
As Scott Dikkers puts it: "Writing is a lifelong craft that you‘re always getting better at. There‘s no endpoint. You‘re always pushing yourself to get to that next level."
Now, go write something that will delight and inspire your readers. Pull back the curtain and take them on an unforgettable ride. The page is yours to command.
Want more writing advice from the pros? Check out these other articles:
– 11 Tips for Writing Irresistible Web Copy
– How to Come Up with Blog Post Ideas Readers Will Love
– 5 Storytelling Techniques to Enliven Any Genre
