Anese Skincare Review: My Cheeky Experiment With The Cult-Fave Brand

Hey there my fellow skincare lover! Prepare to blush, because today we‘re getting cheeky with an Anese skincare review. If you haven‘t heard of this LA-based brand shaking up the beauty industry, allow me to introduce you. Anese is the queen of clean, cruelty-free formulas for your backside and "unmentionables."

Their mission? To infuse some playfulness into your skincare routine and spotlight often ignored areas with effective, ethically-made products. Think: the aptly named "That Booty Tho" scrub and "Calm Your Tits" mask. Intrigued? I certainly was.

As a self-proclaimed skincare junkie always seeking out the latest and greatest, I had to put Anese to the test when they slid into my DMs promising a baby soft behind. For the past 3 months, I‘ve been slathering on their signature scrubs, masks, and oils to see what the hype is about. So does Anese live up to its cheeky claims? Let‘s get to the bottom of it (pun intended).

About Anese

Before we jump into the juicy product reviews, let‘s talk about the brand behind the booty puns. Founded in 2016 by Lyndsay and Nick van Gordon, Anese has made a name for itself with its bold voice, clean ingredients, and focus on forgotten spots.

What started as an indie brand gaining buzz on Instagram has skyrocketed into a skincare phenomenon with over 330,000 followers, 1000s of glowing reviews, and features in Nylon, Refinery29, and beyond. The secret sauce? Combining effective, natural formulas with a healthy dose of humor.

Anese‘s extensive line spans from top to bottom with an emphasis on firming the booty, smoothing chest wrinkles, and treating intimate areas. But this isn‘t your granny‘s body care. With sleek packaging and tongue-in-cheek shade names like "Double Tap Dat A**" illuminator, Anese brings some serious ‘tude.

All products are cruelty-free, dermatologist-tested, and made in the US with ethically-sourced ingredients. Anese avoids over 1300 potentially toxic ingredients and each item undergoes rigorous testing for both safety and efficacy. It‘s skincare you can feel good about, with a side of spice.

Price-wise, Anese sits in the mid tier, with products ranging from $25-$58. While not the cheapest, you‘re paying for potent, concentrated formulas that last 2-3 months on average. Plus with subscribe & save, rewards, and bundles, there are plenty of ways to snag a deal (more on that later).

Now that you‘re acquainted, let‘s get down to the real Qs: do Anese products actually work and are they worth your coin? Allow me to bare all in my Anese skincare diary.

My Anese Skincare Reviews

Calm Your Tits Mask

I was most excited to try the infamous Calm Your Tits detoxifying boob mask after seeing it all over my feed. This green goodness claims to soothe sun damage, clear chest acne, soften skin, and prevent wrinkles in the cleavage/neck area. The ingredients list is 💯 with kaolin clay, green tea, squalene, and agave.

The texture was creamy and easy to spread without being messy. I‘ll be honest, I felt pretty extra masking my chest but the cooling effect and tingle made me a fast fan. After letting it sit for 15 mins, my skin felt so fresh and not at all dry or tight like clay masks tend to do.

I‘ve been using it 3x a week for a month now and noticed a visible improvement in chest breakouts and overall smoothness and brightness. The deep V wrinkles are slightly softened too. For reference, I‘m 29 with combination skin. I can 100% see this being a saving grace after a sunburn or on aging skin.

That Booty Tho Scrub

The OG Anese product and still their best seller for a reason. This scrub has built a cult following for its ability to smooth skin texture, clear blemishes, fade discoloration, and allegedly, tighten things up. It has a whipped, creamy feel thanks to walnut shell powder, jojoba beads, and coconut oil.

I‘ve tried my fair share of body scrubs but this one hits different. It‘s gritty enough for a satisfying exfoliation but not at all harsh. My skin feels insanely soft, supple, and glowy after using it. The scent is also divine – like a almond, coconut, tropical escape.

Over the past few months of 2-3x a week use, I‘ve definitely seen a difference in the look and feel of my peach. My skin tone looks more even, I have way less ingrowns and bumps, and my boyfriend says it‘s extra juicy 🍑 TMI? In short, believe the booty hype.

Down With the Thickness Mask

On the days I‘m not buffing, I‘m slathering on this booty-firming mask. It has a super silky, almost balm-like texture that glides on and doesn‘t leave you sticky.

Packed with lemon extract, kaolin clay, centella asiatica (an antioxidant) and collagen-boosting vegan squalane, this mask works to detoxify pores, plump, and refine skin texture. After rinsing, my rump is downright velvety.

I will note that the tightening and cellulite-minimizing effects are more subtle. After a month of consistent use every other day, I do see a slight difference in smoothness and lift, especially on my upper thighs. But I don‘t expect any topical product to perform miracles in that department.

Where this mask shines is softening, nourishing, and imparting an all-over glow. It also layers perfectly with That Booty Tho for a full backside treatment. Together they‘re a dynamic duo for ensuring your cheeks are selfie-ready.

Have You Seen My Underwear? Oil

To seal the deal post scrub or mask, I‘ve been reaching for this cheeky 🩲 firming body oil. It‘s quick absorbing with none of the greasy aftermath.

Immediately it makes my skin look so healthy and radiant. Over time, the antioxidants and fatty acids in the grapeseed, apricot kernel, and jojoba trio have helped even and brighten. As with the mask, I don‘t think it‘s a magic bullet for cellulite but I do see a subtle blurring effect.

I mainly use this on my bum and thighs but it works gorgeous on any body part needing some TLC. I even tried it on my boyfriend‘s scaly feet and he‘s a convert. Between the silky texture, glow factor, and amazing orange blossom scent, this oil is a staple.

What Else I‘m Loving

While those are my tried & trues, Anese has so many other gems worth mentioning. These products are either in my cart currently or on deck for testing next:

Illuminaughty: I‘m a sucker for anything shimmery so I had to get my paws on this limited edition booty scrub. It has the same nourishing base as That Booty Tho infused with mica for the prettiest glow. Mark my words it will sell out fast!

So Over It Mask: Essentially Calm Your Tits for your face. It has lactic acid, zinc, sulfur, and neem oil to deep clean pores, curb excess oil, and calm inflammation. My combo, acne-prone skin is quaking.

No Backdoor Action Butt Acne Cream: The name alone deserves a Pulitzer but the formula is just as good. With salicylic acid, azelaic acid, niacinimide, and zinc, it treats and prevents those pesky butt pimples.

This Is Not a Cum Towel: It‘s a boob sweat towel, it‘s a post-mask wipe, it‘s a naughty conversation piece. You need it, trust me.

Is Anese Worth The Hype?

To quote my girl Cardi, OKURRR! After 3+ months of putting Anese to the test, I can say with my whole chest that this brand lives up to its cheeky claims. These products walk the walk when it comes to smoothing, clearing, and firming. Let‘s break down the pros and cons:

✅ Actually works: With consistent use, I saw a noticeable difference in skin tone, texture, breakouts, and yes, even a subtle tightening effect.

✅ Clean ingredients: No mystery chemicals here. Anese uses pure, natural ingredients proven to be effective. My sensitive skin had zero problems.

✅ Lasts forever: A little goes a long way so each products lasts me months. The price feels reasonable when you break down cost per use.

✅ Eco-friendly: Most products come in glass jars that can be repurposed. The company is also Climate Neutral certified.

✅ Cute packaging: Superficial but the colorful bottles and scandalous shade names spark joy on my vanity.

🚫 Not cheap: There‘s no denying Anese is pricey for body care. But IMO the quality, natural ingredients, and efficacy make it feel worth the splurge.

🚫 Not a miracle: While the brand goes hard on cheeky marketing, it doesn‘t oversell. These are topicals not magic. You need consistent use to see a difference.

🚫 Scent may be strong for some: I personally love the fragrances like citrus and jasmine but those sensitive to scent may find them overwhelming. Most do dissipate quickly.

🚫 No returns: Due to the nature of the products, Anese doesn‘t accept returns. Luckily they have minis to test the waters.

All in all, Anese gets my bootylicious stamp of approval. It‘s a yes from me dawg!

How To Score A Deal

Now I know what you‘re thinking – "All sounds amazing but my wallet is shaking!" Fear not my frugal friend, there are plenty of ways to score Anese for less. Here are my savvy shopping tips:

• Subscribe & save: Get 15% off your recurring order of bum goodies. Shipping is free and you can cancel anytime.

• Refer-a-friend: Give your bestie $10 off their first order over $35 and get 100 rewards points ($5 store cash) when they checkout. It‘s a win-win booty shake.

• Rewards program: Earn points on purchases, referrals, your birthday, and following on socials to redeem for cash. For example, 500 points = $25 off. It adds up fast!

• Build a bundle: Mix & match your fave full size products and get up to 20% off.

• Shop the sales: Anese is always running promotions like free gifts with purchase, buy more save more, and % off. I highly rec signing up for texts & email to stay in the bootylicious loop.

• Follow the 🍑: Anese‘s social media is straight 🔥 Hilarious memes, pop culture references, and most importantly flash sales and discount codes. Give them a follow and prepare to 😂

Final Thoughts

Well my friend, we‘ve reached the bottom of this Anese skincare review. Bad puns aside, I hope my experience shed some light on this cheeky brand and inspired you to show your backside some love.

As a former skeptic turned Anese evangelist, I can‘t sing this brand‘s praises enough. By tackling our most intimate "problem areas" with effective clean ingredients and a sense of humor, Anese is doing skincare differently in the best way. It‘s about damn time we normalize (and even celebrate) butt acne, boob sweat, and stretch marks. More 👏 of 👏 this!

Of course, skincare is personal and what works for me may not be your jam. But if you‘re looking for a sustainable, cruelty-free brand that will make you giggle and glow, I highly recommend giving Anese a go. Start with a mini or the Booty Bundle to dip your toe in.

As the brand says, "we‘re here for a good time, not a long time." So let‘s make the most of it by pampering our cheeks, supporting indie brands who are shaking up the industry, and having a laugh along the way.

I hope you found this Anese skincare review helpful and maybe a tad scandalous. If you have any other questions or just wanna swap booty puns, slide into my DMs. Until next time, keep it cheeky! 🍑