5 Behaviors of Highly Emotionally Intelligent People
In the fast-paced, high-stakes world of sales, your emotional intelligence (EQ) can be just as important as your product knowledge or pitching skills. EQ refers to your ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions as well as pick up on and influence the emotions of others. It‘s what allows you to stay poised under pressure, bounce back from rejection, build trust with clients, and collaborate effectively with colleagues.
Highly emotionally intelligent salespeople are the superstars who seem to effortlessly hit quota, grow their accounts, and sustain peak performance even in the most challenging circumstances. According to research by TalentSmart, 90% of top performers have high EQ, and salespeople with high EQ outperform their lower-EQ peers by 50%.
So what sets these emotionally savvy sellers apart? Here are five telltale behaviors of salespeople with high EQ:
1. They admit and learn from their mistakes
Emotionally intelligent people have the self-awareness and humility to own up to their mistakes rather than getting defensive or pointing fingers. They view failures as opportunities for growth. After losing a deal, for example, they‘ll seek out candid feedback from the prospect on what they could have done differently. They‘ll reflect on the experience to extract lessons learned and create a plan to improve next time.
This sincere willingness to acknowledge and learn from mistakes quickly wins the trust and respect of clients, who can sense authenticity and commitment to their success. An ADP study found that leaders who admitted to mistakes and took responsibility were rated as five times more effective than those who did not.
To cultivate this self-aware, growth-oriented approach:
- Make post-mortems after key losses a regular habit
- Ask colleagues and clients for honest, specific feedback
- Reframe failures as data points to inform future strategies
- Adopt a learner‘s mindset and focus more on progress than perfection
2. They control their emotions
Sales is an emotional rollercoaster full of excitement, frustration, hope, and disappointment – often all in the same day! Emotionally intelligent salespeople have developed the ability to regulate their emotions and not let the inevitable ups and downs derail their motivation or performance. They know how to take a step back, breathe, and respond intentionally rather than react impulsively in tense situations.
This emotional control is especially critical during high-stakes sales conversations. Getting defensive about an objection or showing frustration after a rejection can mean the difference between winning and losing business. Top sales reps know how to keep their emotions in check and model confident calmness to prospects.
Tips for maintaining your emotional equilibrium:
- Practice deep breathing or meditation to calm your nervous system
- Use positive self-talk to reframe challenges as opportunities
- Give yourself short mental breaks throughout the day to recharge
- Regularly vent stress through exercise, laughter, or talking to a friend
| Situation | Less Emotionally Intelligent Reaction | More Emotionally Intelligent Response |
|---|---|---|
| Prospect raises objection | Gets defensive or argumentative | Listens calmly and asks clarifying questions |
| Loses a major deal | Complains and makes excuses | Reflects objectively on lessons learned |
| Faces a tight deadline | Panics or procrastinates | Breaks work into manageable tasks and dives in |
3. They listen more than they speak
Highly emotionally intelligent salespeople know the power of making prospects feel truly heard and understood. In conversations, they focus on listening attentively, asking thoughtful questions, and seeking to fully empathize with the client‘s perspective before sharing their own views or solutions. They pick up on subtle cues like tone of voice or hesitation to identify the prospect‘s underlying needs and concerns.
This generous, empathetic listening style quickly builds rapport and trust. A study by Gong.io found that top-performing sales reps spent 40% more time listening than lower performers. The key is making the prospect feel like the center of the conversation, not just an audience for your pitch.
To hone your active listening skills:
- Minimize distractions and give the speaker your full attention
- Ask open-ended questions to draw out their thoughts
- Paraphrase what you‘ve heard to confirm understanding
- Mirror the speaker‘s body language and vocal pace to build resonance
- Note key points to remember and refer back to later
4. They take criticism well
No one likes negative feedback, but high-EQ salespeople have learned to depersonalize criticism and mine it for valuable insights. Rather than getting discouraged by a manager‘s tough feedback, they receive it with a sense of appreciation and curiosity. They ask clarifying questions to fully understand the issue, and they commit to specific actions to improve.
Emotionally intelligent sales reps also know how to gracefully handle criticism or objections from prospects. They don‘t get rattled or jump to defend themselves. Instead, they listen calmly, validate the concern, and offer a thoughtful response. This poised approach demonstrates confidence and care for the prospect‘s success.
Strategies for taking criticism in stride:
- Assume positive intent and thank them for sharing
- Focus on the message, not the delivery
- Separate useful feedback from unproductive attacks
- Turn critiques into clear goals for improvement
- Follow up to share your progress and ask for ongoing feedback
5. They stay calm under pressure
Sales professionals face constant stressors – quotas, competition, economic downturns, difficult clients. But top reps with high emotional intelligence have an uncanny ability to stay composed and focused in the face of adversity. Where others may get overwhelmed or burnt out, they find healthy ways to cope with pressure and maintain peak performance.
This emotional resilience stems from an ability to realistically appraise challenges and an optimistic belief in their capacity to handle them. High-EQ salespeople also know how to limit negative self-talk, prioritize self-care, and reach out to supportive colleagues and friends. During tense conversations or on tough days, their unflappable presence has a calming effect on everyone around them.
Tips for keeping your cool when the heat is on:
- Take a mental step back to gain perspective
- Break challenges down into manageable action steps
- Practice positive visualization and self-encouragement
- Prioritize nutrition, exercise, sleep and fun
- Lean on your teammates and celebrate small wins together
A study by Deloitte found that nearly 60% of all occupations have at least 30% of activities that could be automated. But the sales skills requiring emotional intelligence – building relationships, developing trust, providing consultative insights – will always be in high demand. By cultivating these five behaviors of emotionally savvy sellers, you gain a powerful competitive edge.
Of course, building emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey. Start by focusing on one or two of these behaviors and look for opportunities to practice them every day, both with prospects and colleagues. The more you flex your EQ muscles, the more natural these behaviors will become – and the more you‘ll differentiate yourself as a trusted sales advisor.
Remember, in a world of infinite choice and eroding attention spans, your greatest value to clients is not just your product, but your empathetic, emotionally attuned guidance to help them achieve their goals. By leading with emotional intelligence, you can build the lasting relationships and results that define sales success.
