Decoding Face and Body Language: Secrets from an FBI Agent and Harvard Psychologist

Have you ever wished you could read people‘s minds? While that‘s not exactly possible, you can learn to read their nonverbal cues to gain powerful insights into what they‘re really thinking and feeling.

Your body language comprises 60-65% of your total communication, according to pioneering researcher Albert Mehrabian. That means people are reading your face and body language more than they‘re listening to your words.

Some people seem to have a natural gift for interpreting body language, like FBI agent Joe Navarro. As a former counterintelligence officer and supervisor during his 25-year career with the Bureau, Navarro mastered the art of "speed-reading" nonverbal communication to detect deception and uncover hidden information.

In his book "What Every Body is Saying," Navarro reveals some of his best tips for decoding body language, particularly face and body touching gestures.

We‘ll dive into those expert insights shortly, but first, let‘s look at why face and body language is so important from a psychological perspective.

The Psychology Behind Face and Body Language

According to Harvard social psychologist Amy Cuddy, our body language doesn‘t just influence how others perceive us – it shapes how we see ourselves.

In her viral TED talk "Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are" (over 64 million views to date), Cuddy explains that by changing our body posture, we can increase testosterone, decrease cortisol, and feel more confident and powerful.

This is based on her research on "power posing", which found that subjects who adopted expansive, open postures for just two minutes experienced hormonal and behavioral changes:

• 20% increase in testosterone (the dominance hormone)
• 25% decrease in cortisol (the stress hormone)
• Increased feelings of power and tolerance for risk
• Better performance in job interviews

On the flip side, low power poses like crossing arms and slouching had the opposite effect.

"Our bodies change our minds, and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes," Cuddy said.

The lesson? Pay attention to the nonverbal signals you‘re sending because they‘re influencing both how others treat you and how you feel about yourself.

With that psychological foundation in mind, let‘s explore some of the most common face and body touching gestures and what they reveal.

Interpreting Face Touching Gestures

We touch our faces an average of 16 times per hour, according to a study by the University of New South Wales. But all that face touching isn‘t random – it‘s often a reflection of our emotions and an attempt to self-soothe. Here are some of the most telling facial gestures:

Mouth Covering

Placing a hand over your mouth while someone is speaking is often an unconscious attempt to "block out" what they‘re saying. It indicates disagreement, disapproval, or skepticism.

"The hand over the mouth may appear as a closed fist resting on the lips or could more subtly appear as fingers positioned in front of the lips," Navarro writes.

Nose Touching

Lightly rubbing or touching your nose can indicate you don‘t believe what someone is telling you. It stems from the childhood association of having your nose pinched when you told a lie.

"The Pinocchio effect is based on the story of the wooden puppet whose nose grew when he told a lie," Navarro explains. "In essence, when a lie is told, it causes a slight elevation in blood pressure which causes tissues to swell, including the nose."

Other nose gestures to watch for: flaring nostrils (disapproval or anger), wrinkling the nose (disgust), or a slight nose tap (secretiveness).

Eye Rubbing

Rubbing your eyes or the surrounding brow area often indicates disbelief, doubt, or discomfort with what you‘ve seen or heard. It‘s an unconscious attempt to "unsee" or block out the offending information.

According to Navarro, women tend to rub just underneath the eye with their index finger, while men rub the top of their eyes with a thumb or knuckle.

"Eye rubbing is an important behavior to watch for during interviews or any time you are probing someone," he adds.

Ear Tugging

Tugging or touching your ears usually means you‘ve heard enough and want a chance to speak. It‘s a literal and figurative attempt to open your ears so you can get a word in.

This gesture is often accompanied by leaning forward, further indicating the desire to contribute to the conversation.

"When a person tugs at their ears, they might be saying nonverbally that they want to contribute to the conversation or add their two cents‘ worth," Navarro notes.

Neck Touching

The front of the neck is home to many nerves and blood vessels, making it an effective area to self-soothe through touching. Stroking or massaging the side of the neck with fingers or palm is a calming gesture often seen when someone is under stress.

Women tend to touch their necks more often and more delicately than men. "When women rub or otherwise touch their necks, especially the side, they usually do so with fluttering fingers…men on the other hand, tend to grasp their necks more firmly when they are stressed," Navarro writes.

A sudden neck touch after being asked a sensitive question can indicate emotional discomfort or anxiety.

Chin Stroking

Lightly stroking the chin with the index finger while tilting the head is a classic "thinking pose" that indicates deep contemplation. It‘s often seen after someone has been asked a challenging question and is pondering their response.

"As the brain is processing information, it stimulates nerves in the chin causing this stroking action," Navarro explains. "It feels good and actually helps increase concentration."

Be on the lookout for this gesture during meetings and negotiations, as it signals the person is considering the points being made before reacting.

Reading Body Touching Gestures

Just as the face reveals nonverbal insights, so does the positioning and movement of the full body. Here are some of the most important body language cues to know:

Arm Crossing

Crossing the arms in front of the torso is one of the most common defensive postures, creating a literal barrier between you and the other person. It indicates resistance, discomfort, insecurity or disapproval.

"Crossing arms is the nonverbal equivalent of calling a ‘time-out‘," says Navarro. "It is one of the few universal gestures that is recognized around the world."

Note that arm crossing is often habitual and not always a sign of negativity. The key is to notice when the crossed arms start and relax to determine if it‘s a response to the current situation.

Arm Rubbing

Lightly rubbing or stroking the upper arm with the hand is a self-comforting gesture that helps ease stress and anxiety. It mimics the soothing touch of a mother‘s embrace.

"Rubbing the arm with the hand is a form of self-hugging" writes Navarro. "We start giving ourselves hugs as young children when we are stressed…as adults we modify this behavior and often just touch, stroke or hold onto our arms when slightly nervous."

Watch for this signal in social situations where someone may feel awkward or out of place. Coupled with other cues like lack of eye contact, it can indicate discomfort.

Leg Cleansing

When seated, rubbing the hands rapidly over the thighs in a washing or wiping motion is an unconscious attempt to "wipe away" nervous tension. It‘s often seen right before an important event like giving a speech or going into an interview.

"The wiping action stimulates nerve endings in the legs, relieving stress," Navarro explains. "This gesture is an example of the psyche trying to rid the body of a negative sensation."

Leg cleansing is frequently accompanied by feet shuffling or jiggling – other signs of anxiety and impatience. Strive to plant your feet firmly on the floor and keep your hands still to project calm confidence.

Feet Pointing

Our feet are the most honest part of our body because they‘re farthest from the brain and hardest to consciously control. As Joe Navarro says, "feet don‘t lie."

In any conversation, note the direction of the other person‘s feet:

• Feet pointed towards you = engaged and interested
• Feet pointed away = disengaged and ready to leave
• One foot pointed away = desire to exit the conversation

"When people find themselves in an undesirable conversation and want to leave, their feet will shift away long before the rest of the body," Navarro notes. "It‘s a phenomenon termed ‘foot direction complex‘."

Tips for Mastering Positive Body Language

Now that you know some of the key face and body language cues to watch for, here are practical tips to help you project confidence, build rapport, and make a positive impression in any interaction:

1. Perfect your handshake. Use a firm (not crushing) grip, solid eye contact, and a genuine smile. Initiate the shake with your right hand, meeting web-to-web.

2. Maintain an open posture. Keep your arms relaxed by your sides, gesture with palms up, and angle your torso towards the other person. Avoid arm and leg crossing.

3. Use engaged eye contact. Aim to hold eye contact 50-60% of the time, glancing away occasionally so it doesn‘t feel too intense. Focus on one eye at a time.

4. Smile naturally. Crinkle the corners of your eyes and show teeth for a Duchenne smile. Avoid pasted-on, insincere grins.

5. Mirror and pace. Subtly match the other person‘s posture, gestures and vocal tone/pace to build rapport. Don‘t imitate them directly, just aim for a similar energy.

6. Relax your jaw and brow. Unclench your teeth, unknit your brows and let your forehead remain smooth. Tension in these areas signals stress and anger.

7. Breathe from your belly. Under pressure, we tend to breathe rapidly and shallowly from the chest. Consciously take deep breaths into your abdomen for a calming effect.

8. Take up space. Widen your stance, roll your shoulders back, and hold your head high. Taking up more physical space makes you appear confident and in control.

9. Talk with your hands. Gesture naturally to punctuate your words, using smooth, sweeping motions. Keeping your hands in view (not shoved in pockets) shows openness.

10. Nod mindfully. Tilt your head slightly as you listen and nod occasionally to show engagement. But avoid non-stop bobblehead nodding, which seems inauthentic.

Remember, developing your body language skills is a process. Start by focusing on one or two cues at a time until they become natural habits.

Key Takeaways

Your face and body language communicate volumes about your thoughts, emotions and intentions – often more than your words. By understanding how to decode nonverbal cues, you gain a valuable sixth sense for reading people and situations.

Some of the most important face and body gestures to watch for include:

• Covering the mouth (disagreement)
• Touching the nose (doubt or deceit)
• Rubbing the eyes (disbelief or discomfort)
• Tugging the ears (desire to speak)
• Touching the neck (stress or anxiety)
• Stroking the chin (deep thought)
• Crossing the arms (resistance or insecurity)
• Rubbing the arms (self-soothing)
• Cleansing the legs (nervous energy)
• Pointing the feet (desire to engage or exit)

At the same time, you can consciously utilize positive body language to strengthen your confidence and connections. Aim for an open and expansive posture, genuine facial expressions, engaged eye contact, mirrored gestures, and natural breathing and movement.

Ultimately, the goal isn‘t to overthink every little gesture, but to increase your awareness of nonverbal patterns in yourself and others. Armed with this knowledge, you‘ll be better equipped to communicate effectively, detect hidden emotions, and build trust and rapport in all your interactions.

As the pioneering researcher Albert Mehrabian once said, "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn‘t said." Now you have the tools to listen with more than just your ears and respond with more than just your words. Master the language of the body and there‘s no limit to the connections you can create.