Game of Phones: How to Emerge Victorious in the Epic Battle for Telephone Etiquette
The nobles of Westeros wage bloody battles for the Iron Throne, but in today‘s workplace, there‘s another coveted seat of power up for grabs: the Phone Throne. Whoever masters the intricate etiquette of business phone communication shall reign supreme, while those who fail to control their bad phone habits face exile into professional oblivion.
Okay, that intro might be a little melodramatic – but there‘s truth underneath the medieval metaphors. In an age where we‘re glued to our smartphones 24/7, the way you handle yourself on the phone has very real implications for your career. Poor telephone practices can sabotage your professional image, drain productivity, and ultimately damage your company‘s bottom line.
A Plague Upon the Office: The Negative Impacts of Poor Phone Etiquette
A recent infographic called "Game of Phones: The Epic Battle for Telephone Etiquette in the Workplace" humorously illustrates some common offenders in this battle. It personifies bad phone behaviors as different "houses":
| House | Sigil | Behaviors |
|---|---|---|
| Obliviousness | Head in the clouds | Speaking obnoxiously loudly |
| Awkwardness | Toilet paper roll | Taking calls in the bathroom |
| Rudeness | Ringing phone at a meeting | Letting calls interrupt conversations |
| Inattentiveness | Frazzled stick figure | Multitasking and not listening |
| Tech Addiction | Chained to phone | Checking phone compulsively |
| Vagueness | Question mark | Giving incomplete information |
| Time Wasting | Hourglass | Engaging in unproductive calls |
While the infographic pokes fun, these habits are no laughing matter. Research shows that 65% of workers believe their colleagues‘ phone faux pas negatively impact customer service.[^1] Another study found that overhearing a halfalogue (one side of a phone conversation) decreased performance on cognitive tasks by 17%.[^2]
[^1]: Source: Fonality
[^2]: Source: Verge, "The Distracting ‘Halfalogue‘"
I‘ve seen these effects firsthand. At one old job, a coworker of mine was the embodiment of the House of Obliviousness. He took every call at his desk on speakerphone at max volume. All day, the rest of us got to hear him chewing out suppliers, placating angry customers, and making awkward small talk. It absolutely killed our focus and made it hard to connect with our own customers over the din. His total lack of self-awareness definitely soured the office vibe.
Winning Strategies to Conquer the Phone Throne
So how can you avoid falling prey to these negative behaviors and instead wield your phone like a boss? Here are some tips I‘ve learned over the years for demonstrating impeccable phone juju:
Before the Call
- Have a clear agenda. Know exactly what you want to accomplish before you dial. This keeps the call focused and efficient.
- Time it right. Avoid calling during the other person‘s lunch break, first thing Monday morning, or near close-of-business Friday.
- Prepare your environment. Find a quiet place with good reception, and silence potential distractions like desktop alerts.
Answering with Aplomb
- Pick up promptly. Answer by the third ring to show that you value the person‘s time.
- Introduce yourself properly. Use your full name and affiliation to sound professional: "This is Liz Lemon with TGS."
- Ask before putting someone on hold. Say "May I place you on a brief hold?" And don‘t leave them hanging for more than a minute without checking in.
Conducting Yourself Courteously
- Speak clearly. Articulate and speak at a measured pace so you‘re easy to understand. Smile – it makes your voice sound more pleasant!
- Listen like a champ. Give the other person your full attention. Use verbal affirmations like "I see" to demonstrate engagement.
- Watch your tone. Stay calm and friendly, even in the face of rudeness. A spoonful of honey catches more flies than a barrel of vinegar.
- Avoid verbal tics. Cut out filler words like "um," "uh," and "like," which undermine your authority. Embrace the pregnant pause instead.
Ending on a High Note
- Recap key points. Briefly summarize any important information or action steps to ensure you‘re on the same page.
- Express appreciation. Thank them for their time and helpfulness. A little gratitude goes a long way.
- Send a follow-up. Shoot over a quick email reviewing what you discussed to create a handy reference and paper trail.
In addition to these general guidelines, be vigilant against the following phone faux pas:
- Subjecting neighbors to your booming voice or whispered conspiracies
- Conducting personal calls within earshot of customers or coworkers
- Taking phone business into the bathroom stall (ew, David!)
- Allowing unexpected calls to hijack a meeting‘s agenda
- Glancing at your screen mid-conversation, signaling distraction
With some mindfulness and practice, anyone can master these winning strategies to emerge victorious in the Game of Phones.
The Stakes Are High When You Play the Game (of Phones)
You might be thinking, "Okay, but why should I put so much effort into upping my telephone game? How much does it really matter?" Well, in the immortal words of House Stark, "Brace yourself: data is coming."
Consider these numbers:
- 92% of customer interactions happen over the phone[^3]
- Businesses lose over $62 billion per year due to poor customer service, much of which happens on the phone[^4]
- Workplace distractions like loud talkers cost U.S. businesses $588 billion per year[^5]
- Workers waste an average of 2.1 hours per day on distractions and interruptions[^6]
[^4]: Source: Forbes
[^5]: Source: Udemy
[^6]: Source: Atlassian
The way you communicate on the phone doesn‘t just impact your own productivity – it shapes how others perceive your competence, professionalism, and leadership capability. Every call is an opportunity to either enhance your reputation or tarnish it. This is especially crucial if you‘re in a sales or customer-facing role, where your phone persona directly affects the company‘s bottom line.
I learned this lesson the hard way early in my career while working sales in a call center. I thought my sparkling personality would be enough to win over prospects, but I let distractions get the better of me. While pitching a client, I got a text and instinctively glanced at it, then had to ask the prospect to repeat themselves. When they realized I wasn‘t giving them my full attention, their interest instantly cooled and they couldn‘t wait to get off the call. I lost out on that sale and it was 100% due to my own unprofessional phone behavior. That taught me real fast how high the stakes are.
Claim Victory in the Game of Phones
Here‘s the good news: no matter how entrenched you are in bad phone habits, it‘s never too late to change course and conquer your demons. Start implementing the strategies outlined above, and be more intentional with every call. Ask a trusted colleague to observe you on the phone and give constructive feedback. You can even record your end of some calls (with the other party‘s permission) and listen back to catch any tics or opportunities for improvement.
Most of all, remember what‘s at stake. By honing respectful, professional telephone skills, you‘ll enhance your focus, productivity, and professional reputation. While you can‘t control the poor phone habits of your co-workers, you can be the master of your own communication domain.
So go forth and claim that Phone Throne! With awareness, effort, and practice, you‘ll win the Game of Phones and reap the rewards of telephone victory. And those rewards – respect, efficiency, and killer sales numbers – are sweeter than the spoils of any Westerosi war.
