Why We Hate Meetings So Much (And How to Fix Them)

It‘s an all-too-familiar feeling – seeing a meeting pop up on your calendar and immediately deflating. Any initial optimism about collaborating with coworkers quickly sours into dread and annoyance. Meetings have become the bane of the modern workplace, zapping precious time, energy and morale from workers at every level.

The data paints a bleak picture of just how unproductive most meetings tend to be:

• A study by Bain & Company found that a single weekly meeting at one company consumed 300,000 hours per year
• 71% of senior managers say meetings are unproductive and inefficient
• Employees spend on average 6 hours per week in meetings, with middle managers spending over 35% of their time in them
• Disorganized, rambling meetings cost U.S. businesses an estimated $399 billion in 2019

Meetings are meant to foster collaboration, innovation and alignment. So why do they so often feel like a colossal waste? Here‘s a deeper look at the complex psychology and cultural factors behind our meeting malaise – and how we can make them a bit less awful.

Meetings Undermine Autonomy

One of the most frustrating things about meetings is how little control we have over them. Meetings are often scheduled by others, at times that may not be optimal for our own productivity rhythms. We‘re expected to drop whatever we‘re doing and shift into a completely different mode, sometimes with little notice or context.

This lack of control over our time and activities can be incredibly demotivating. Autonomy is one of the key drivers of workplace motivation and engagement. When meetings are forced upon us, it undermines our sense of ownership and self-determination.

Pointless and poorly run meetings are especially aggravating because they waste this limited resource of time that we can never get back. An hour spent in a rambling meeting is an hour we‘re not spending on focused solo work, big-picture strategizing, bonding with coworkers, or any number of other meaningful activities.

Unpredictable Social Dynamics

Meetings also come with all sorts of challenging interpersonal dynamics that we have to navigate. There are often power imbalances at play, like when a meeting is dominated by executives who don‘t leave space for others to contribute.

Brainstorming and decision-making in a group setting can be unpredictable, with discussions easily going off the rails or getting bogged down in groupthink. Extroverts tend to talk more, while introverts struggle to be heard.

Emotions can run high when there‘s disagreement or when the stakes are elevated. But most of us feel pressure to maintain a facade of positivity in meetings, which can be cognitively and emotionally draining. Sitting still and feigning engagement for long periods is surprisingly exhausting.

Then there are just the general annoyances of being stuck in a room with other humans – from loud chewing and pen-clicking to rambling anecdotes and people talking over each other. The Igloo Software survey revealed that common irritants include:

• People repeating points that have already been made
• Others zoning out and not paying attention
• People coming in late and interrupting the flow

All of these unpredictable social dynamics activate threat-detection systems in our brains that drain and distract us, even at a subconscious level. The mental effort required to focus in the face of these stressors takes a toll over time.

Virtual Meeting Fatigue

Throw in the complicating factors of video calls and hybrid environments, and the cognitive strain of meetings reaches new heights. Zoom fatigue has become a well-documented phenomenon, with virtual meetings leading to:

• Increased self-consciousness as we stare at ourselves on camera
• Difficulty reading non-verbal cues and body language
• Constant distractions from emails, chats and problems at home
• Technical glitches and lags that disrupt conversational flow
• Physical exhaustion from sustained eye contact and limited mobility

Research shows that the negative effects of video calls are more pronounced for women and new hires. The stakes for saying the wrong thing or dropping the ball feel higher when interactions are mediated through screens and recorded for posterity.

Lack of Meaning and Purpose

Perhaps the greatest frustration with meetings is the sense that they often lack any real purpose or importance. When we feel our time and efforts aren‘t being used in service of the company mission, it‘s deeply alienating.

In one survey by Salary.com, 47% of workers said attending meetings was their biggest waste of time at work – more than social media, web surfing, and chatting with coworkers combined. Meetings pull us away from our core job responsibilities and daily to-do lists.

This effect is compounded when the purpose of a meeting is unclear, the agenda gets hijacked, or action items never materialize. It becomes harder and harder to muster enthusiasm to show up when prior meetings have felt like such a waste.

Even worse is when it feels like meetings are scheduled just for the sake of having them, or to stroke the egos of certain participants. Meetings can quickly become political tools that reinforce unhealthy power dynamics rather than driving the work forward.

How to Make Meetings Suck Less

So how do we take a bite out of meeting misery? Experts recommend a number of best practices:

1. Make them optional

No one should feel obligated to attend a meeting unless their specific input is crucial. Designate some meetings as optional and trust team members to decide if it‘s the best use of their time.

2. Share agendas in advance

Provide as much context as possible so people can come prepared to engage on the topics at hand. Share any slides, docs or numbers to review ahead of time.

3. Stick to the agenda

Be disciplined about keeping the meeting on track. Table off-topic items for another time. Use a timer or assign a timekeeper to make sure the schedule is followed.

4. Take breaks

Long meetings need to include breaks for people to stand up, use the restroom, grab a snack, etc. Schedule meetings for 45 or 50 minutes to allow buffer time for people to regroup.

5. Assign clear roles

Have a designated facilitator to keep the discussion moving, a notetaker to capture key points, and a timekeeper to watch the clock. Rotate roles to share responsibility.

6. Use breakouts purposefully

Breaking large meetings into smaller discussion groups can make them feel more interactive and engaging. Use breakouts sparingly so they feel novel rather than like another chore.

7. Make virtual meetings interactive

For video calls, use polls, chats, whiteboards and reactions to pull people out of passive listening mode. Encourage people to unmute and contribute verbally.

8. End with clear next steps

Don‘t let meetings wimp out with a vague "we‘ll follow up on this." Clarify exactly who will be doing what by when and distribute notes promptly with action items.

9. Schedule a meeting-free day each week

Protect one day per week as a meeting-free zone for the entire company. This ensures everyone can count on some predictable heads-down time.

10. Train people to run meetings effectively

Just like any other skill, running great meetings takes practice and knowhow. Provide training and resources to help meeting leaders structure engaging, purposeful meetings.

Ultimately, fixing meetings requires an organization-wide cultural shift. Leaders need to model good meeting etiquette and empower teams to push back on meetings that feel wasteful.

There needs to be a high bar for scheduling a meeting in the first place, and a constant focus on making them as productive as possible. Meetings should be in service of doing the work, not a distraction from it.

Bad meetings aren‘t just annoying – they‘re a major drain on employee engagement, productivity and innovation. In a world of knowledge work, meetings are sometimes unavoidable. But by being more intentional and putting meeting quality on par with other business priorities, we can turn them from dreaded time-sucks into a more useful tool for collaboration.