Why You Should Never Start a Sales Email With "I Haven‘t Heard Back From You"

I want you to think back to the last time you were ghosted by a prospect. After firing off email after email loaded with enticing value propositions and persuasive calls-to-action, you were met with nothing but radio silence.

If you‘re like most salespeople, your natural response was likely to send a guilt-inducing follow-up lamenting how "I haven‘t heard back from you" – or some variation like:

• "I know you‘re busy, but I‘ve been trying to reach you for weeks…"
• "I‘ve left you three voicemails now with no reply…"
• "Bumping this back to the top of your inbox again…"
• "Can you just let me know if you got my proposal?"
• "Since I haven‘t heard back, I‘ll assume you‘re not interested…"

Sound familiar? According to research by Gong.io, 61% of follow-up emails contain a phrase like "just checking in." The majority of salespeople have been conditioned to believe that provoking a sense of obligation is an effective last-ditch tactic to get prospects to engage.

But here‘s the problem: It almost never actually works. Even worse, it often damages the very relationship you‘re trying to build.

Buyers Aren‘t Motivated By Guilt

By definition, guilt is a negative emotion. It‘s a feeling of regret or responsibility for doing something wrong or letting someone down. The purpose of guilt is to spur us to make amends and correct our behavior.

So there‘s an implicit assumption when you tell a prospect "I haven‘t heard back from you" – that their lack of response is an unacceptable slight you‘re calling out so they‘ll feel bad and fix it.

But here‘s the thing: Your leads don‘t owe you anything. They didn‘t do anything wrong by failing to reply to your unsolicited email. You‘re not their boss, their spouse or their friend. They don‘t feel guilty for ignoring you because they have zero obligation to a random salesperson they‘ve never met before.

As psychologist Guy Winch explains in his book Emotional First Aid:

"One of the most common mistakes people make is to assume that because they feel guilty, they must have done something wrong. But guilt is an emotion, not a barometer of moral correctness. And it‘s an easy feeling to provoke in others, even when they‘ve done nothing to deserve it."

Trying to bully buyers into submission through guilt just doesn‘t work. The data proves it:

• The average open rate for sales emails is just 24%
• Only 8.5% of first-touch cold emails ever get a response
• Less than 1% of cold calls are returned

Clearly, guilt is not a powerful motivator when it comes to driving replies. What‘s more likely is that guilt-based follow-ups just breed resentment and annoyance that push prospects further away.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Professor Emerita of Psychology at UMass Amherst sums it up well:

"Guilt is not a very good motivator. In the overall scheme of emotions, guilt is one of the ‘sad‘ emotions, which also include agony, grief, and loneliness."

Those are the last sentiments you want buyers associating with your brand. People simply don‘t like feeling bad, so they avoid the source of their negative emotions. If your emails are routinely rousing pangs of guilt, they‘ll dread seeing your name pop up in their inbox.

You Can‘t Guilt People Into Wanting What You Sell

It‘s critical to remember that your prospects are crazy busy. Their inboxes are overflowing, their calendars are packed, and they‘re constantly being bombarded with people clamoring for their attention.

With so many competing priorities, it‘s inevitable that not every outreach attempt will generate an immediate response – no matter how potentially valuable the offer is. But that doesn‘t mean they‘re impolite, irresponsible or uninterested. It just means they‘re human.

Mark Suster, entrepreneur turned VC at Upfront Ventures, explained it well:

"The more senior people are, the more demands they have on their time. The older they are, the more personal responsibilities they have. So of course they can‘t process 100% of their email. It‘s not a reflection of you."

Layering on guilt for their lack of reply when they‘re already stretched thin is like pouring salt in the wound. Even if they did have some interest in your product, making them feel bad for being busy is a surefire way to obliterate it.

Plus, guilting non-responsive prospects operates on the flawed premise that the only reason they‘d go quiet is that they‘re inconsiderate or forgetful. It completely ignores all the legitimate reasons they might not be getting back to you, like:

• Your message got caught by spam filters
• They‘re out of the office or on leave
• You‘re reaching out to the wrong point of contact
• They forwarded your email to someone else to handle
• The timing or fit just isn‘t quite right yet
• A personal or family emergency occurred
• They simply missed it

The point is, you have no idea what‘s going on in their world or inbox. Assuming the worst and reprimanding them for not dropping everything to acknowledge your email is both shortsighted and ineffective.

When Using Guilt is (Somewhat) Acceptable

This isn‘t to say eliciting guilt should always be avoided at all costs in sales. But there‘s a very short list of scenarios where it‘s appropriate – and some key guidelines to follow so you don‘t cross the line.

The only time you can reasonably try to stir up some light guilt is when a prospect explicitly committed to doing something for you and didn‘t follow through. For example:

• They agreed to review a proposal by a certain date and never did
• They scheduled a demo but didn‘t show up or complete the next steps
• They verbally promised to introduce you to another decision maker but failed to make the connection
• They said they would provide some key information or paperwork and haven‘t
• They told you to expect a final decision by a specific timeframe that‘s long past

In other words, you can really only play the guilt card when they‘ve done something concretely "wrong" by reneging on a clear agreement. Simply screening your cold outreach does not count.

What‘s more, laying down guilt should truly be a last resort after you‘ve made at least 3-4 unsuccessful follow-up attempts over a reasonable period of time (at least several weeks).

Even then, there are some important rules of thumb to keep it from backfiring:

1. Acknowledge their busy schedule and give them an easy out. Make it clear that you understand things come up and plans change.

2. Provide a clear way to get the relationship back on track. Reiterate your specific request and why it matters.

3. Set a deadline for when you‘ll assume it‘s off the table. Put the ball squarely back in their court to act or move on.

Here‘s an example of how you might pull this off:

Hi [First Name],

I completely understand that priorities shift and I‘m sure you have a lot on your plate. I‘m just circling back one last time because we had agreed to reconvene after you had a chance to review the proposal I sent over last month.

If you‘re still interested in moving forward, just let me know by next Friday. If I don‘t hear back by then, I‘ll assume the timing isn‘t right and will plan to touch base in a few months to reassess. No hard feelings whatsoever if you‘ve gone in another direction.

If there are any questions I can answer in the meantime, I‘m always just a quick call or email away. Thanks again for your consideration and wishing you all the best.

[Your name]

See how this approach politely reminds them of a missed commitment without naming, blaming or shaming? It also provides a clear path forward while empowering them with an easy out if they‘re no longer interested.

How to Follow Up Without The Guilt Trip

For every other scenario besides the one above, guilt-tripping is not your friend. Instead, there are plenty of more positive approaches to reconnect with non-responsive prospects without making them feel bad.

The key is to keep it brief, bring value, and make it dead-simple for them to re-engage (or bow out altogether). Here are some proven alternatives to "I haven‘t heard back from you":

When they go dark after your first touch:

• "Want to quickly bump this back to your inbox in case it got buried. I know how crazy things get, so no worries if now isn‘t the right time. If you‘re interested in learning more about [compelling stat or value prop], let‘s find a few minutes to chat."
• "I know I‘m probably catching you at a busy time. If you‘re open to it, I‘d love to learn a bit more about your team‘s current approach to [business goal] and see if [your offering] might be a fit. I‘m happy to work around your schedule if you can spare 15-20 minutes to connect."
• "I thought you might find this [relevant case study, report, article] interesting based on [their company‘s specific challenge]. No need to respond if you‘re not interested, but I‘m happy to share a few other resources that could be helpful as well."

When they miss a scheduled meeting:

• "I‘m sorry we weren‘t able to connect earlier. I know how hectic things can be, so I completely understand if something came up. I‘m happy to reschedule whenever works best for you – feel free to book some time directly on my calendar here [link to scheduling tool] and I‘ll be sure to hold the spot for you."
• "I‘m guessing [the demo, call, etc] slipped off your radar, which I totally get. I‘m still really excited to show you how [your solution] can [drive X results]. I‘ve opened up some additional slots next week – do any of these options work for you?"

When they don‘t complete the next step post-demo:

• "I wanted to circle back regarding next steps on [specific action item]. I know you‘re juggling a lot of competing priorities, so just let me know what else I can provide to help keep things moving forward. I‘m happy to resend any info, answer additional questions or [complete X task] on my end."
• "I‘m excited about the potential impact we discussed [your solution] having on [their goal] and want to make sure I‘m not dropping the ball on my end. Please let me know if there‘s anything you need from me to [move to the proposal stage, schedule a pilot, etc]. If you need a bit more time, no problem at all – just give me a sense of your ideal timeline and I‘m happy to work around it"

When they never return your voicemail:

• "I left you a quick voicemail [yesterday, last week] but wanted to put this in writing as well. [2-3 sentence pitch focused on value]. If you‘re interested in learning more, you can book a call directly on my calendar here [link to scheduling tool]. If not, no harm done – appreciate you reading this far!"

When you‘re pretty sure they‘ve ghosted for good:

• "I know I‘ve reached out a few times now without hearing back, so I‘ll plan to go ahead and close your file on my end. If the timing wasn‘t right but you‘re open to touching base [next quarter, next year] let me know and I‘ll make a note to circle back. If you‘d rather not hear from me again, no hard feelings! Wishing you and the team all the best."
• "Since I haven‘t been able to get ahold of you, I‘ll assume you‘ve either moved in a different direction or have too much on your plate to explore this right now. No need to respond – I‘ll go ahead and take you off my list. That said, the door is always open if you‘d like to reconnect down the line. Either way, it was great to meet you and I hope our paths cross again soon!"

See the difference? These approaches all accomplish the same goal of resurfacing the conversation, without any undertones of guilt or pressure.

They empathize with common reasons for their lack of reply, clearly state next steps, provide an easy out and add a dash of FOMO for good measure. The tone is friendly but to-the-point, not wounded and passive-aggressive.

The Real Key to Getting Prospects to Respond

At the end of the day, your ability to get prospects to engage has far less to do with crafting the perfect guilt-inducing email and far more to do with how you approach the entire relationship from the start.

Too many salespeople are so focused on booking the meeting or closing the deal that they lose sight of what really drives results: establishing trust and demonstrating value at every single touchpoint.

It‘s not that your leads don‘t want to talk to you because they‘re rude or apathetic. It‘s because they‘re drowning in outreach from people who don‘t take the time to understand their world before aggressively pitching them.

Only 31% of B2B buyers believe sales reps are trustworthy. They‘ve been burned too many times by overly aggressive and self-serving salespeople, so their guard is up.

That‘s why the key to breaking through is to slow down and focus on building authentic relationships first.

Here are some ways to do that:

• Research their role, goals and challenges before reaching out so you can customize your message
• Lead with a relevant insight, thought-provoking question or piece of content that sparks their interest vs. launching into a generic pitch
• Share educational resources, industry reports and case studies that align with their priorities
• Get involved in the same online communities, attend the events they go to and interact with their social posts
• Look for ways to connect the dots, make introductions and offer your expertise and network

In other words, invest the time to do your homework upfront so you can engage them around the issues that actually matter to them. Show that you‘ve taken the time to understand their world and how you can uniquely help rather than throwing darts in the dark.

The more you can establish yourself as a trusted authority who cares about their success, the less you‘ll have to resort to guilt trips and constant follow-up to get their attention. You‘ll already have it.

The Takeaway: Ditch the Guilt Trips

Repeat after me: My prospects don‘t owe me anything. They‘re not my friends, my boss or my spouse. I can‘t bully them into wanting to talk to me by making them feel bad.

If you want to be a top-performing salesperson in today‘s world, it‘s time to drop the guilt trips and start building real relationships instead.

Yes, it takes more time and effort than blasting out canned check-in emails and crossing your fingers. But it‘s the only way to cut through the noise, earn their trust and ultimately win their business.

So give yourself permission to stop chasing down unresponsive buyers and guilt-tripping them into submission. Accept that some people just aren‘t a fit, and others simply need more time.

Focus your energy on thoughtfully engaging the ones who are ready now, and nurturing the rest with no strings attached. When you make it your mission to become a trusted partner vs. a quota-hungry vendor, the results will follow.

Just remember: There are many ways to effectively follow up. Guilting them into it isn‘t one of them.